How do I do this?

Today I feel like a failure.
I'm sick and I'm emotionally sick.
I can't move, I can't eat and I can't throw up.
All of these things need to be completed.

The biggest thing to me right now is that I'm so alone in what is going on. I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling or how I'm supposed to deal with this. I cannot do anything. I'm trying and I'm trying but it hurts.

It really hurts.
My insides are being pushed around.
Like a school yard kid.

I'm not myself.
My father has told me that far to many times. I just don't want to be alone.
Nobody understands me, or it, or how.

I just made an appointment to see my doctor so I can discuss with him whats going on.
I'm still so scared.